Tuesday, May 31, 2005
Wednesday, May 25, 2005
He stood up and opened his closet door to look for his boots but along the way, his eye gets caught by a familiar jar that stood on top of his drawers. It was simple jar that had a wide mouth and a lid with a masking tape label on the side saying, "Broken Dreams" I remember the time when I made this. Luke helped me get started with it. We went to the candy store and bought this big jar of candy and ate like kings for the whole afternoon. The jar was what we had left and I didn't want to waste it so I took it home with me. After a while though, we grew up. Life seemed to be a little heavier and you don't really want to get out of bed anymore since you don’t know what shit can happen. Lots of dreams were starting not to be realized as we faced up to the fact that some things, you aren't meant to do. I guess, I didn't like it at all and Luke noticed. Probably because of Grayson and when he fooled everyone. Especially me, I believed in him the most. One day when he visited my room, he saw the old jar I kept all these years. It was supposed to be something like a jar for my savings but I didn't like saving money like that. Things seemed too short to save up for, in my opinion. Luke didn't think so. So he asked permission to use that old candy jar of ours. He took some tape and put the label "Broken Dreams" on it and gave it back to me. At first, I wondered 'what the hell?' I mean, as if I'm not miserable enough right? I thought Luke was making a joke out of my expense or something and I felt insulted really. But then, Luke said something else. "You put a coin in for every broken dream you have so that in the end, you'll have enough to get yourself the best one" I was stunned. The jar was a sentiment. Yeah, Luke understands that some dreams aren't going to come true yet you'll still keep dreaming of something better right? I think back to that candy-filled afternoon. I remember how long it took to earn that much money to buy it. We had to mow lawns, snip hedges, run errands, etc. We missed out playing in the arcade with others and biking with the other kids because we wanted the best thing out of it. I guess if you think about it, it isn't all that different at all. Yes, I did have some dreams and hopes shattered and the amount has been going up in that jar for a long time now. For every failure, I put a coin in and for every regret, I put a coin in. In a way, I have learned to move on from mistakes because of this. Never mutter too much in the past but look far ahead into the future instead. One day though, Luke left and yeah, I gave in to the jar again only this time, I put in a whole mess of coins. Luke just told me that he wants me to keep going after what I want even though I didn't know what it is yet and he told me that jar will help me in the long run. As I look at the jar now, it's almost full yet I still wonder, have I found the best thing? I haven't yet. I don't know what I want still. So is my time running out or am I just not going to move at all? In a way, I feel like I let Luke down but I'm not quitting, not yet anyway. He found his old boots and put them on. Jack went to the bottle and opened it. He got a handful of coins and poured them back into the jar, all the while thinking 'when?'. The message he got was probably Luke and what would he say this time? Jack wasn't going anywhere yet, all he had was this big jar of broken dreams. What started as a sentiment now seemed like a memorial of everything Jack had failed or regretted about. "I guess, it can't be helped." He looks out the window and sees the rain falling outside, like so many tears. "I'm sorry Luke, I'm not like you" He places the jar back on the drawer and fishes out another coin from his pocket and drops it in the almost overflowing jar. Jack felt his heart getting heavy as he did, another regret, another broken dream.
Friday, May 20, 2005
Tuesday, May 17, 2005
Sunday, May 15, 2005
Wednesday, May 11, 2005
Monday, May 09, 2005
Sunday, May 08, 2005
Friday, May 06, 2005
Thursday, May 05, 2005
"Think of it this way, you don't have to look at a mirror to see yourself."
Sunday, May 01, 2005
The Most Beautiful Quote
"Yes I do. I've spent half my life either betraying some ideal or a person I care for."
"And the other half?"
"Is spent trying to find the strength to say 'I'm sorry'."
Riding the Lightning
11:10 AM
Excerpt from Lonely Roads
Riding the Lightning
7:13 AM
Culling of the Weak
I rued that thursday for three things. I had to finish typing a segment of our research paper then finish an individual synthesis for our journals and psych class but none so more chilled the core of my very soul than the power supply that was due that day.
You see, we have this workshop class which requires us to construct a fully functional power supply by the end of the summer. The days were long, hard and hot and I just really can't get to doing the power supply right. I am being bothered too much by other things that my brain just seems to get baked by workshop time.
This day though, I had my work cut out for me.
My power supply was only half done and so I was going to stay in school for at least until 5 pm. In the morning tho, I got up at around 5 am and checked my equipment one last time. To my horror, I realized that my switch was missing. The blood drained away from me as I realized the fact that I may not be able to finish my project today.
I drove to school with half a heart, thinking about just skipping the morning class to go to a store to buy a new one. Luckily though, Tal had some missing parts too and was going to SM in the 1 1/2 hour break we had before workshop.
After psych, we bolted to SM. SM was closed til 10 am so we had to wait it out in his car. Swear, it looked like a stake out. When we got there, the store Tal went to didn't have the switch i needed. So we went around looking for another store which was farther around SM. My feet ached as walked fast to get the switch. Luckily, with my own personal stroke of luck, we found a switch. we hurried off and drove back to school.
We arrived an hour late and to my surprise, there was hardly any room left since some other students sat in our class to finish their projects too. I eventually found a place and began to work. My new switch didn't fit in its hole so I had *ugh* file it. I had to drill holes on my case and cover that time and my lack of focus caused some mistakes. Plus, the drills needed for the holes were missing so I had to wait til they were replaced. The humanity!
My stomach grumbled bec of the fact that I hadn't had anything to eat since last night's dinner. I filled my belly with water to keep myself full though. The end of the period came and I knew it was crunch time. I was going to stay til 5 definitely. I took the soldering iron and got to work. The fumes of lead went directly into my head and at that moment I felt dizzy but I persevered. My lack of focus also cost me a little hurt. While adjusting some metal wires, I accidentally stabbed the inside my nail with the wire. My thumb started to bleed but I didn't let that stop me, I was too cramped for time.
So, I had my first attempt checked. Problem: my prior blunder of making the fuse hole too big got the better of me. The fuse was too big and was in contact with my transformer. Solution: drill new holes and attach them all over again. God, the transformer was already in place and I had to take it out again. I almost gave up that time but I remembered that I was not one to quit and maybe talking to JM the day before made me realize something in me that keeps me going. Anyways, I did just that and fixed it. I had to make adjustments to my board when.... one of the wires got cut. Right then, I was about to lose it but I kept my cool.
I resoldered the wire into the board when suddenly, the copper of the board got torn off. Okay, that was it, I was so pissed off but really, perseverance is what I needed. I soldered the new wire to the next possible connection and prayed to God desperately to make it work.
Moment of truth, checking. During checking our technician pointed out two problems. Some of the knobs were loose and I had something backwards. Urgh, no matter, no matter. The time was 4:30, I wanted to just storm out but I figured, if I can't do this, I can never amount to anything else. I firmly believed I was a guy of great will and I wasn't going back on that. For 15 minutes more, I readjusted my project. My hand was hurting and my fingers were swollen but it didn't matter, all I wanted was to walk out that place and say I made it work and eventually, that did happen. I passed the power supply and it worked. As I put the power supply on the shelf, I felt the different wave of pains I had blocked out to survive.
I checked my watch and saw that it has been 24 hours since I've eaten anything. I smelled of metal and iron. My vision as blurry and my hands and feet were shaking. I almost fell to my knees when I got out of the room. In the midst of it all, I couldn't help ... but smile. I did it.
I drove home and pumped up the radio for some triumphant Blind Guardian celebration. The feeling of finishing the project was something I have never felt before in college. I always thought I couldn't do anything right and I was right but when I tried my best, I could still pull it out of the bag. Luck and will have become my two pillars, with these two, there is no way anything can stop me. I feel relieved to think that I can make things work even if it's crappy and messed up. I did my best and persevered, it got me something and I'm happy to say it was done. Perhaps this year, things will be different. I relearned something I used to have, Willpower.
Nothing has challenged me that much since that incident in the 3rd year fair and now, I remembered how it was to feel that power to do something. I am not backing down and I don't quit. PERIOD
Riding the Lightning
6:26 PM
TUNE THE RAINBOW
-RahXePhoN OVA Opening Theme
(english translation)
I will stay here, only for the sake of drying your flowing tears
As beautiful as the rain letting up, your tears make your heart transparent
Today as I look out from the top of a hill,
Although the world should be washed over in love
We have realized we are living in bewilderment
The soft song of love cannot reach us
I just wanna protect you, I just wanna protect
The days when your face shone, smiling
I just wanna protect you, enclosed in loneliness, your heart shaken by sadness
For the rest of my days
I swear everything, I would risk everything, I would lose everything
For the one I love, to think of you, to live together with you
Past softness, we're both cowards
Even though I'm not skilled at telling my true feelings
I can speak of great things and works
Nevertheless, I'm all right...I'm feeling fulfilled
The two of us, in love, may be separated in a strong wind
The two of us, in love, will be by each other's sides forever, within our prayers
I just wanna protect you, I just wanna protect
The days when your face shone, smiling
I just wanna protect you, enclosed in loneliness, your heart shaken by sadness
I won't forget the wind and trees, the burning sky
I won't forget the song I loved, the front cover of the picture book I read many times
I just wanna protect you, I just wanna protect
The days when your face shone, smiling
I just wanna protect you, enclosed in loneliness, your heart shaken by sadness
I won't forget that high sky, the blue ocean, summer's sunlight
I won't forget the words we exchanged...I won't forget anything!
A transient rainbow...
I think it must be a bridge to you
This song is just too damn beautiful to make me sad.
YEY RAHXEPHON
Riding the Lightning
3:27 PM
Afterwards...
I play dota during the week with friends and the same scenario repeats: win or lose, nothing extraordinary. I go home and miraculously sleep a few hours earlier than usual. I wake up earlier than usual too. I drive to school, no one's there so I take some peace with the fresh morning air and perhaps read a book or review for a coming test or quiz. I meet either Ryan, Myles or Stan and go play dota, end the day, go back home, chat with them. Sometimes, I play a little Diablo 2 to keep myself busy.
Lately though, I finished Part One of DM... going to take a break from that right now cuz I'm making a new story. It's messy but what the hell, I want to appreciate writing in another style at least. Interesting what fuzzy said sometime back,
tmat_02 (11:09:57 PM): malabo konti akin pero sample lang naman
myk_chua (11:10:19 PM): it's pretty nice for a 'malabo' piece
tmat_02 (11:10:35 PM): months and months of practice
He asked me to edit a description about a park then. I appreciate the comment haha.
In school, it's the final countdown for the week. ES finals was deemed optional (yey) but we still have research to do and a test on tuesday. Psych however, we still have a reflection paper to do about toys, a group position paper about homosexuality and finals. Workshop, we need to complete our power supply and take finals on saturday. If you ask me, things are piling up but I'm not worried at all for some reason. I guess if you can get through something as awful as the things I have gone through, tasks like these are pretty easy to deal with.
This was funny, I was giving advice about relationships with Jao some days ago. I wouldn't really call it giving advice though, I think the answer came from her in the long run anyways:
angelica_jao (9:55:04 PM): i really need to think this out
angelica_jao (9:55:08 PM): but thanks
angelica_jao (9:55:18 PM): i needed some assurance
tmat_02 (9:55:39 PM): and ur taking the word of a bitter, loveless, hopeless romantic?
angelica_jao (9:55:57 PM): you rock at it
And speaking of relationships, AC and I had a chat yesterday also. He was bored and I was bored so we just talked about any sort of weird stuff in the sun. For example, Jollibee's gender issue, what is Grimace, what is a Dionysian Archetype, shit like that but at one point, I came up with a certain revelation:
tmat_02 (4:22:11 PM): ugh girls
tmat_02 (4:22:25 PM): sometimes u think they're really worth it
tmat_02 (4:22:36 PM): pero they know EXACTLY how to break ur heart
tmat_02 (4:22:38 PM): hahaha
akhoum (4:23:38 PM): waah!
akhoum (4:23:42 PM): oo nga.
akhoum (4:23:55 PM): one minute, they're cozying up to you like you're the only thing they've got...
akhoum (4:24:31 PM): next minute, they're moaning to the beat of another guy's
tmat_02 (4:25:42 PM): akin kc iba
tmat_02 (4:25:53 PM): akin, it's like ur doing everything right
tmat_02 (4:26:07 PM): but in the end tho, it doesn't do anything
tmat_02 (4:26:25 PM): kc naman
tmat_02 (4:26:33 PM): girls have this kind of romantic fantasy
tmat_02 (4:26:39 PM): of meeting the perfect guy
tmat_02 (4:26:56 PM): usually lasts all the while from teenage years to early adulthood
tmat_02 (4:27:03 PM): then they start dating
tmat_02 (4:27:11 PM): and they get a huge reality check about guys
tmat_02 (4:27:27 PM): so then they start looking for security instead of mr. right
tmat_02 (4:27:44 PM): in your case, friend ka lang, ur not mr right
tmat_02 (4:27:49 PM): kaya wala ka magawa
akhoum (4:28:00 PM): huwaw...
akhoum (4:28:11 PM): you understand 'em better.
akhoum (4:28:13 PM): grabe...
True? perhaps. I just wrote out of the heart, sometimes I'm not even conscious about what I'm writing. Lastly, in the face of total depression, Stan made a point to cheer me up somehow. Ya big buffoon hahaha, ya know I don't like getting people involved but what the hell, thanks for the concern.
stanman_2k4 (5:06:24 PM): but i'll say this for the nth time
stanman_2k4 (5:06:45 PM): there'll always be people around, if worse comes to worst open up. Even if we won't understand, let us listen
Tch. Maybe. I have not openly told anyone about myself. Not even to closest friends. Really though, you just gotta live your life the way you want it. "Kill Buddha as you see him, Kill the Father as you see him" No one should dictate the life you live. We are our own masters and it's really up to us how we want to live.
In another zone of Marty's inexplicable life, Ryan had deemed me "the guy who can talk anyone into depression" Boo Ryan. In the little circle of friends, I have become the "goth". I talk about Death and depression and how everything's pointless from time to time and it affects people, in some weird way. I guess my Endless says it all haha. I think I'd make a good guidance counselor one day hahaha. What kind of kids will go out of my office I wonder?
I'm not depressed. I'm not happy either. I'm in between. Nothing is rocking my world ... yet. I hope things work out for most people out there, I hope they work out for me too. Loveless, bitter, dark yet friendly, warm and loyal, I wish it wasn't so difficult. Ah well, a dreamer can dream.
Once again, still looking for heaven
Riding the Lightning
7:18 AM
Waiting For You by Akira Yamaoka
Your gentle voice I hear
Your words echo inside me
You said "You long for me, that you love me"
And I want to see you too, feels just like I'm falling
Is there nothing I can do, wonder if you hear my calling
I'm here and waiting for you
Where are you, I can't find you
I'm here and waiting for you
I'll wait forever for you
Mom's gone to Heaven now
Why won't she come back down
Does she have someone she loves more than me
I thought I could love you better, we were always together
If we took some time apart you would finally know my heart
I'm here and waiting for you
Where are you, I can't find you
I'm here and waiting for you
I'll wait forever for you
I fell in Love with you and now you're gone
There's nothing left within my lonely room without you
I'm here and waiting for you
Where are you, I can't find you
I'm here and waiting for you
I'll wait forever for you
Riding the Lightning
7:33 PM
One Hour

Aside from writing, I draw to keep myself sane
Riding the Lightning
4:30 PM
Hear My Cry
Last friday was a day I will remember. It was the day, after a long time, that I cried. I have fought so hard to fight everything life, God or fate threw at me but apparently leaving outside isn't enough. I lessened my talking with my other family members. I don't talk with them as much and it is only at dinner that we see each other, even then, it is rare for us to get together.
Friday though, I came home after dropping Stanley off at Gilmore and you know what my father said right when I came through the door? "Mali-mali nanaman parking mo" Jesus, not even a hi. I said I'm sorry for the Nth time and wanted to get away but my dad followed up with something about me never getting it right. Right then and there, I slipped up. I said, "Eh di wag" in a disrespectful tone and my dad flared. He called me down and asked again what I just said and I told him, and he just became angrier. I said sorry but he wouldn't let it go, he was berating me with put-downs and insults and he wouldn't let me get the last word. he would never allow that. Not him.
I went upstairs and took my clothes for the night. It was 6:00. I passed my parent's room where I saw my mom. I didn't talk, I just went straight for the bathroom. I turned on the water hard, the cold water splashing my face, arms, legs, body, everything but my heart and right then, I finally broke down. The first tears came unexpectedly. I thought it was the water running from the shower but my face started to ache from the gush of tears and before I noticed, my fists were clenched and quivering and I could hear my whimpers echoing. My hands pounded on ceramic tiles as I wept bitterly after so many days, weeks and months of silence.
I cursed how I hated the people I loved. I cursed the way my life has turned into nothing but a joke. I cursed my loneliness. I have wanted someone to love, at least and hope that they may share my sorrows... but even friends could not hope to save me. They see me in school, smiling and in chat or in writing otherwise. No one has seen my true face, no one will ever. I cried that day, not for guilt or sadness but out of despair; the despair I tried to avoid by staying silent. I have no place to seek comfort, not even to friends or family. I am wandering alone in an aimless road where everyday, hope seems to evaporate and rain on me as despair's black teardrops.
But I am not yet through.
Today is mother's day and for once, I was showing some heart. I helped my brother make a mother's day card which in turn made my mother very happy. I thought it would be a good day, a little day of peace after the disaster on friday but I was wrong.
During the afternoon, Berk told me JM was never coming back. He cut himself off from everyone in the Philippines. He will not visit in the summer nor any day for that matter. People have wasted his time and didn't care about him, so he upped and left. How easy it would be if I just gave up also....
Later on, Stanley asked me how I was. I was pissed at the moment but nevertheless, I talked with gracious respect since he was just looking out for me. I didn't like talking about my problems and we debated about it a bit. He told me, listening may be enough to help but I beg to differ, you can listen all you want but nothing's going to change. He told me, I was not alone; that there is a populace of depressed people as I am but I beg to differ, "everyone suffers but everyone in their own little cubicles" He then told me that I am somewhat admirable for not letting anyone suffer as I do. But really, why bring others into my mess?
tmat_02 (4:58:56 PM): who, pray tell, who can set me straight
tmat_02 (4:59:06 PM): who can make me happy, really?
tmat_02 (4:59:11 PM): who can make everything OKAY
tmat_02 (4:59:28 PM): the only person who can do that is me
tmat_02 (4:59:32 PM): me or God
tmat_02 (4:59:45 PM): and im no closer to having everything fixed
tmat_02 (4:59:54 PM): and it's better if i don't drag anyone else with me
stanman_2k4 (5:00:14 PM): actually that's a good thing
stanman_2k4 (5:00:20 PM): a little bit close to martyrdom
stanman_2k4 (5:00:23 PM): only without the heroism
stanman_2k4 (5:00:39 PM): it's cool nga eh
stanman_2k4 (5:00:46 PM): you care for people even if you do'nt show it
stanman_2k4 (5:00:58 PM): that's something i dnt feel every once in a while
tmat_02 (5:01:01 PM): i call it the Good Guy Syndrome
tmat_02 (5:01:14 PM): I can't help but be alone
tmat_02 (5:01:26 PM): if someone has problems, il listen, heck, il even give advice
tmat_02 (5:01:45 PM): but when it's my problem, it's mine, i will not allow anyone else to help me
tmat_02 (5:01:56 PM): and sometimes i hate it
tmat_02 (5:02:01 PM): hate being the good guy
tmat_02 (5:02:07 PM): but i can't help it
stanman_2k4 (5:02:12 PM): have you ever tried letting someone help with your problems before?'
tmat_02 (5:02:16 PM): no
tmat_02 (5:02:24 PM): no one understands
tmat_02 (5:02:50 PM): and that's the thing, you never meddle in something u don't understand
That happened. I left. My family was planning to go to grandma's for dinner out with my cousin.
I waited at my cousin's room until they'd call us down for dinner. I thought it was going to be okay but when my parents came down, I was shocked. My dad said we weren't going out anymore and he was really pissed.
In the car, my dad was driving home. My mother was angry. My dad was angry. They started shouting at each other. I couldn't hear the reason why but it was pointless, they were fighting. My father was cursing at my mother and my mother was telling my dad that he was stubborn. They didn't stop at all on the drive home. All I heard were shouts and screams from the two people who I loved dearly. My mother then pleaded with my father to bring us somewhere to eat and get it over with but my dad didn't budge. My mother said it was rare for us to be together as family but my dad just cursed at her and continued driving. I saw them then and I was disgusted. I kept looking out the windows, wishing I was out of the car, wishing that I had never even set foot in it. I wanted to scream at both of them for being who they were but I didn't, I would mean nothing and I would probably just make things worse.
My dad and his pride... I don't know anymore... My mother wants to leave and maybe when she does, I'll go with her but what will that do? I've made walls around me to protect me but they batter them like sledgehammers forcing me to cover my ears. They're shouting, always shouting then comes the silence, that awful silence once again. It's a storm in here and I can't ride the lightning any longer. Mother's day is nothing to my father. Everything revolves around his pride. His pride as a father, his pride as my mother's husband, his pride, his goddamn pride.
Now, it's stopped for the while. My mother has locked herself in her room crying, not letting any of us in. My father watching TV downstairs, collecting his pride. My brother, probably scarred. Me, fighting back tears. No one will save me, no one will even give me the time. I am the afterthought, the ghost, the wanderer, the loner, the second opinion, the brother, the son, the dreamer and ultimately, I am Marty, the shadowkeeper... I chase ghosts and shadows, never real people because dealing with reality is too hard.
I think back when I was a child... when I was in my hospital bed... on the verge of death. How my family was waiting, praying for me to wake up and I did, I was given a second chance. I remember the bright light and the touch of warmth at the other end of the dark hallway and felt myself being pulled away into life... reality. I thought the light was me waking up to my family's embrace but I was wrong, dead wrong. The light was taken away from me.
Hear my cry, passerby, friend or comrade. Hear the cry I have held back for so long.
Riding the Lightning
7:37 PM
For all his talk and testerone-pumped boastings, he knows NOTHING about the people around him. All he knows is how to get angry. Nothing pleases a man that is so full of himself. He'd sooner use curses and fists to get his way before even listening to reason. I hate it when my mother says to forgive him. It's like I'm wrong, why the fuck am I always wrong?! Am I ever right? I am never right. It's stupid, everyone here is stupid. I live in a stupid house, in a stupid life and given a second stupid chance to live.
I swear, I never want to come back here when I live. I cannot live here. I don't belong anywhere. As much as possible, I don't want to talk with anyone in here anymore. It's so pointless. "Kain na, Marty" "Bakit di mo na kami kinakausap, Marty?" Stupid. They don't know that I hate them. I keep quiet and all they want me to do is talk about it and then, THEN they slap me in the face all over again. Pointless, Stupid. I wish I wasn't here.
God, I'm sorry. I tried to be good but I can't exchange responsibility for freedom. It's too important. I hate being under the thumb of an insensitive parent. Everything is just pointless. Why am I the person everyone can step all over? I can't write anymore... my hands are too weak... my stomach is empty... my eyes are sore... I can't cry anymore... there's nothing left in my soul to muster a single tear. I have nothing. I am nothing.
I HATE LIVING
Riding the Lightning
4:55 PM
I was the Shadowkeeper
Riding the Lightning
7:46 PM
The Guy Backstage
The girl approached him one day and the guy was suddenly filled with joy. She was coming towards him, it was like a dream come true until she spoke to him. Apparently, the girl liked one of the guards under our man's command and she wanted him to arrange for them to meet.
The captain of the guard was devastated yet above all else, he wanted to make the lady happy, even at the sacrifice of his own happiness so he agreed and made the arrangement. The man the lady liked, knew nothing of courtship and wooing and so our captain decided to help him. For many a times, he thought of what to say when he himself would be the one courting the lady, so he told the man he would whisper what he would say from behind bushes in a cover of darkness.
The night came and the two had met. The captain whispered from the bushes loving words and the guard echoed it to the lady, the lady in turn, fell deeply in love with his words. For the whole night, his words were echoed to her and he saw her falling deeper and deeper in love and it gave him so much joy to see that his words were doing so yet at the same time, it made him extremely sad that he, himself, was kept hidden in darkness.
After some time, the guard and the lady got married and lived happily. The captain kept his feelings to himself and congratulated them for their marriage. He was still in love though, but he respected their union and didn't interfere in it. Instead, he would weep quietly in his heart, his only peace was that there was that one night where his words finally reached her ears.
More years passed and it came to a time where they were old and gray. The lady's husband had passed on and she was at his grave saying her farewell and the captain was with her, paying his respect. He, himself was on the verge of passing away so on that day, he gave a letter to the lady and bade her only to open it when he had passed away, a favor returned for setting the lady and the guard's meeting all those years ago. The lady agreed and the captain smiled at her.
One fateful day, the captain had finally died. The lady opened the letter and was greatly shocked. It was a poem but not just any poem, it was the same thing her husband told her that night and it extended further and further and further telling her how much he had loved her all those years. All she could do then was cry. She wept for she didn't lose one lover but had lost two."
I wrote it the best way I know it
and it showed a lot about how I perceive love.
Riding the Lightning
9:51 PM
Zoid Ownage
My little Mage Knights with their summoning and squadding couldn't hope to match against the giant colossuses of Zoids coming from the east. My units were battered to a bloody pulp before I was able to summon one of my avatars which laid waste to even more of Ryan and Gali's units. My units found themselves in the crossfire in the middle of the room and was blown to bits by the incoming Zoids. Even my summoned avatar couldn't kill the Zoid assault.
Ryan and Gali soon turned their attention on the incoming robots and decided to put all differences aside against a common enemy. Ryan signalled his Orbital Strike and Gali proceeeded to throw himself to the enemy, hopeful to at least take one down. My avatar of power couldn't get through most of their shields, damaging them in small amounts. In the end, it was not enough. Two Zoids took out my avatar in one hit each and I quote, "That's not right" haha. The shields were too much, and they reflected damage *ouch* damage was rolled in d20's *ouch* and they had around 1000+ life each *ouch* We had no hope, we got annihilated by Zoids.
Results: The battle was long and grueling but the Zoids won the war. Even with Ryan, Gali and my forces combined, we couldn't hope to destroy even ONE zoid. The high power, high shields and high life made it really, really tough to take even one of them down.
There you have it. In almost 5 hours of battle, the Zoids win unscathed!
Riding the Lightning
11:05 AM
FICTIONPRESS
TOUJIN
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