Thursday, February 17, 2005
I'll take a break from the posting of old stories of mine (since I'm pretty sure no one's reading them) so... I guess it's back to talking about my life, or something like it.
My would-be life always -always- has to have its everyday, or if lucky, weekly tragedies. Over time, one learns how to be completely devoid of human sentiments. Well, not completely, I am still human though. It falls on my basic principles that as long as you are capable of getting hurt or feeling something, you are... still human. Kinda sucky aspect if you think about it, you have to hurt to know you're still human but haha, that's not the point, let's move on to my life as of February 2005.
So it was post-midterm's time which pretty much meant, Marty goes insane over nothing period. Why? Cuz no stress! I get to unload all the crammed Math and Physics (ew ew ew) from my already deteriorating brain. So basically, I started accumulating stupid things in my head again, which is a lot of fun for everyone.
Some of which are spent watching Animal Channel and Discovery Channel. I was like watching this Animals of the 3oth century or something and was like, "huwaw... astig" while giggling at the funny looking squid thing on the TV but seriously, if humans die out over time in some global warming bullshit, then the show's probably a load of crap cuz I'm pretty sure we are -fully- adept to make ourselves extinct a hundred times over.
There were also those times where I was watching some new reality TV show on air. Ah, cable, the ultimate brain-drain. If it's not dating shows, it's surviving-in-the-middle-of-nowhere. And those dating shows are really just
But my life doesn't only revolve on TV -hell no- I have these appendages I call legs and I use em, yeah I do. So I go to college and that's fun too. You get to see all these people thinking happily about their futures and how they are being "shaped into the people of tomorrow" Comment?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA <-- notice, perfect. Not only Richmond can perfectly type up HAHAHAHA in succession without a letter misplaced!
Speaking of the best bud, his birthday happens to fall on that special day where my skin starts to crawl about an inch higher up and that's VALENTINE's DAY. Being devoid of most explicit signs of emotions, I instead observed people in this day of love~ because as any self-respecting person who loves to write about his otherwise miserable life, it is my perrogative to see how the happy people live in their ... dense... isolated... bubbles. Bubbles are pretty.
Lovely was the day in Ateneo. Guys and girls were holding hands as they walked through the campus and girls swoon over little nothings they whisper over each other's ears. Ech. In case for those new to this blog, I am a person who is now dead-afraid of human affection. If ever I am to encounter a situation where in my emotions or feelings are tested, I'd sooner run from it, write about it, or make a joke about it. My sympathy is spent forcefully into pushing everything out because there was a time where I loved, hated and cared much for people but as time goes on, I learned -through experience- it's better to just don't feel at all.
So all in all, I think I was never rid of that curse that was left of me 2 years ago. Yet as I write here now -alone, save for my restless other- I couldn't help but think of that day when I would learn to have feelings for someone again. But as I have learned, love is felt between two people having the same feelings and I, will not force myself into the life of someone who I love because that is selfish, and love should never -ever- be selfish. I firmly believe that. And in doing so, maybe I have doomed myself, is there perhaps someone out there who feel the same? Or am I playing the fool once again, as I always do...
ARGH, I did it again. Why is it that when I start out a blog, and it keeps dragging on, it ends up with something sad? God, is there really any real happiness for someone like me?
No?
Thought so
Riding the Lightning
4:55 PM
