Wednesday, February 23, 2005
Living on Dead Nerves
Sometimes you fall and yes, you die but sometimes, you fly
Or something like it. That saying was from a Sandman short about a guy who was scared to death about failing and dying and at the same time succeeding. For me, I hope that I am able to fly in the week to come.
So we have a Physics test next week, but then add a Physics homework to boot and you got yourself a party. Oh and by the way, got a Filipino paper, Quiz in Poetry, and whatever thing you can possibly add to your week that will result in an apparent suicide. So why why why God oh why. As if my life is going bad enough, I'm starting to build up hate everyday hence for my writing everyday.
I hate this fuckin week and everything in it.
So clear things up and focus on something nice. hmm... nope, nothing going for me either. In these situations I think it is best for me to just stop and regroup but I'm afraid that is even denied of me. I guess that's why people die early. Stress starts so early in college that by thetime your're up and about in the world, you're a drained prunish shadow of your former self. Is life always this harsh or am I just born in a really bad time? Who can say? Certainly not me. I am not in control of myself anymore, I'm just moving on dead nerves.
I guess once you are exposed to so much expectations and work, you tend to go braindead and then one day you find yourself crying in a little corner of your room, begging for the day to end. Then you cry yourself to sleep seeking escape in a pile of pillows but there is no comfort in a pile of tear-soaked pillows, there is only sleep until the next day where you would have to wake up. Is this life or something like it? If everyday was meant to take a little bit of your life, then I guess Hob Gadling was right.
That death doesn't come all at once like an owl that snatches a rat out of the darkness but instead, it's like a thief that robs you everyday little by little until you come to the day that when you come into the room and see that there is nothing left. BTW, I am so believing everything in Sandman right now. One cannot possibly grasp the reality and truth those stories have and in the end, as I believe, I will have my just ends. It is either I fall and die or fly into the horizon. Either way, I'd be happy to oblige
Riding the Lightning
8:54 PM
