The Lonely Road

The name's Marty

age: 20
sign: Libra
hobbies: writing, reading, games

Quotes of my life:

1. I spent half my life betraying a friend or an ideal I believed in,
The other half is spent trying to find the strength to say "I'm sorry" -Nighthawk

2. Nothing should be able to do that, especially not love -Rose Walker

3. By the power of truth, I, while living, have conquered the universe -V

4. When you're on you're knees you're closer to the ground -Tori Amos

5. Why must the grieving be so short and this life so long? -Silver Surfer

6. You should never forget that people do care -Richmond

7. Love was never meant to be such a crazy affair, and who has time for tears? -Akira Yamaoka

8. Friend, at your service! -Berk

9. Happy is me cuz only u make urself miserable -Myles

10. Safe to say, everyone believes in your willpower -Glenn

11. On the road to redemption, just because we are told not to forget
doesn't mean we have to go through things alone -original

12. One true friend is better than a dozen liars -confessional

13. Just live life -James

14. I'd rather be the moon to shine your darkest night -Sophia

15. Life is a circumstance -original

16. Better to live in solitude than feel alone amongst a crowd -Faye

17. That's why ice cream stores don't only sell Chocolate and Vanilla,
Once in a while, someone comes in and orders Butter Pecan -Ralph Digby

18. And so, I'll follow you through the darkness of this world, no matter the pain,
Because I know that you'll be there to light my way -God Knows

19. Sometimes, people build walls around them to have people knock them down -???

20. Now, you listen to me, James Hawkins. You got the makings of greatness in you, but you got to take the helm and chart your own course. Stick to it, no matter the squalls! And when the time comes you get the chance to really test the cut of your sails, and show what you're made of! Well, I hope I'm there, catching some of the light coming off you that day. -John Silver

Still some more to be found...

Thursday, March 24, 2005
Loss of Me

I got a song yesterday. It's called Loss of Me, a magnificent and poignant piano piece out of the Final Fantasy Series. I almost cried yesterday because it was the only time when I had to hear my own voice say to me that I have become lost in myself that I couldn't feel anything but my own silent cries.

Someone talked to me about it yesterday (you know who you are) and maybe that one concern prevented me from breaking down. It was odd for me to say the least, that someone wanted -for once- to hear my problems since I've spent my young life hearing everyone else's. The sentiment was welcome but I regret that I did not take the gesture to warmly. When asked what was going on, I kept silent for the most part... I didn't know how to explain... I didn't know whether I should have told because it resides far too deep in me that I am afraid -ever afraid- of letting anyone inside my inner sanctum. No one has to see it, it's my problems, my demons and no one would understand such things. It goes out that I am lost and I might never find my way back in one piece. Some things, I left behind and some other things taken from me.

I could live the lie for as long as I want but the truth will always remain that no one would rescue me, try as they might, I am one not to be rescued... I created my own hell and no one has to do my time. I'm just waiting for things to be taken away from me, maybe then I'd find peace or at least, rid myself of the burdens and inch myself closer to the truth that I will never be happy but that is something I have gotten used to, something given.

Things change, like autumn leaves; they wither and die but with the hope that Spring breathes them back to life once again. I don't know. Change is strange isn't it? You can change in a blink of an eye and find yourself lost in past, present and future without any hope of emerging anything resembling yourself when you came in and yet... we still live. I find peace in that; that I am still living and that there is always that hope of emerging, perhaps, into a better man

Riding the Lightning
6:36 PM

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