The Lonely Road

The name's Marty

age: 20
sign: Libra
hobbies: writing, reading, games

Quotes of my life:

1. I spent half my life betraying a friend or an ideal I believed in,
The other half is spent trying to find the strength to say "I'm sorry" -Nighthawk

2. Nothing should be able to do that, especially not love -Rose Walker

3. By the power of truth, I, while living, have conquered the universe -V

4. When you're on you're knees you're closer to the ground -Tori Amos

5. Why must the grieving be so short and this life so long? -Silver Surfer

6. You should never forget that people do care -Richmond

7. Love was never meant to be such a crazy affair, and who has time for tears? -Akira Yamaoka

8. Friend, at your service! -Berk

9. Happy is me cuz only u make urself miserable -Myles

10. Safe to say, everyone believes in your willpower -Glenn

11. On the road to redemption, just because we are told not to forget
doesn't mean we have to go through things alone -original

12. One true friend is better than a dozen liars -confessional

13. Just live life -James

14. I'd rather be the moon to shine your darkest night -Sophia

15. Life is a circumstance -original

16. Better to live in solitude than feel alone amongst a crowd -Faye

17. That's why ice cream stores don't only sell Chocolate and Vanilla,
Once in a while, someone comes in and orders Butter Pecan -Ralph Digby

18. And so, I'll follow you through the darkness of this world, no matter the pain,
Because I know that you'll be there to light my way -God Knows

19. Sometimes, people build walls around them to have people knock them down -???

20. Now, you listen to me, James Hawkins. You got the makings of greatness in you, but you got to take the helm and chart your own course. Stick to it, no matter the squalls! And when the time comes you get the chance to really test the cut of your sails, and show what you're made of! Well, I hope I'm there, catching some of the light coming off you that day. -John Silver

Still some more to be found...

Sunday, April 24, 2005
Pause

So things have turned into a dismal pause lately.

The summer is hot and I don't feel like moving around. I spend the weekend with Myles, trying to find a way to entertain ourselves instead of moping at home. I go home, read some blogs, have an occasional chat with friends, play computer games then sleep. Most everyday this happens. I guess I should start writing GHOSTS but I don't feel like it just yet. Call it lack of motivation or whatever.

In a way, my life has been put on pause. Nothing has wracked me so much that I go on and sulk. Nothing has made me laugh so hard that I go on days smiling. Nothing has really caught my attention that I feel inspired to write about it. Nothing is happening to my social life either (boo ECE) . I did start driving solo though and that's exactly what I need, time alone to think.

Crap

I hate this pauses. It's like a calm before another storm comes. Why do I have a bad feeling about this? I hate being alone but it's something I need and at times, I feel confused. I want to be left alone yet I don't want to at the same time. Even if I do surround myself with people, I still feel that I am alone, go figure, but at least then I can still hear voices other than my own. But then there are times when I am alone-alone and that isn't good. That's exactly what this pause is. ARGH, I hate thinking too much. If it's not the rents (parents), it's my shattered confidence. If it's not that, broken dreams. Then love life. Then the loneliness. Then the existence of life. Then death. Then the unanswered questions of the universe.

Ho-hum. The things I think about. It's ironic thoguht cuz it all started during 3rd year summer in another one of these pauses. So many things changed then that made me who I am today. Maybe next time I can tell you about it and maybe you'll have that moment also.

So maybe these pauses are not that bad. It gives you time to change, think or sulk, whatever you need to straighten everything out. For most it's to forgive themselves, others a time to reflect and many more, don't even know but at some time, we do come to a pause and while most would bitch about being idle, it's all a matter of finding what to do with the time. Taking the pause, to get yourself started again.

Again, something to think about

Riding the Lightning
11:30 AM

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