The Lonely Road

The name's Marty

age: 20
sign: Libra
hobbies: writing, reading, games

Quotes of my life:

1. I spent half my life betraying a friend or an ideal I believed in,
The other half is spent trying to find the strength to say "I'm sorry" -Nighthawk

2. Nothing should be able to do that, especially not love -Rose Walker

3. By the power of truth, I, while living, have conquered the universe -V

4. When you're on you're knees you're closer to the ground -Tori Amos

5. Why must the grieving be so short and this life so long? -Silver Surfer

6. You should never forget that people do care -Richmond

7. Love was never meant to be such a crazy affair, and who has time for tears? -Akira Yamaoka

8. Friend, at your service! -Berk

9. Happy is me cuz only u make urself miserable -Myles

10. Safe to say, everyone believes in your willpower -Glenn

11. On the road to redemption, just because we are told not to forget
doesn't mean we have to go through things alone -original

12. One true friend is better than a dozen liars -confessional

13. Just live life -James

14. I'd rather be the moon to shine your darkest night -Sophia

15. Life is a circumstance -original

16. Better to live in solitude than feel alone amongst a crowd -Faye

17. That's why ice cream stores don't only sell Chocolate and Vanilla,
Once in a while, someone comes in and orders Butter Pecan -Ralph Digby

18. And so, I'll follow you through the darkness of this world, no matter the pain,
Because I know that you'll be there to light my way -God Knows

19. Sometimes, people build walls around them to have people knock them down -???

20. Now, you listen to me, James Hawkins. You got the makings of greatness in you, but you got to take the helm and chart your own course. Stick to it, no matter the squalls! And when the time comes you get the chance to really test the cut of your sails, and show what you're made of! Well, I hope I'm there, catching some of the light coming off you that day. -John Silver

Still some more to be found...

Friday, May 06, 2005

I am so sick and so tired of coming home. I hate, HATE, being alive. It's just too hard... You do things and it ends up as nothing. Most of all, I hate my father. I will not hide it anymore, no more flowery words, I hate him. I'm letting you all know. If he reads this, he may get angry at me but what's the use, he's always angry at me.

For all his talk and testerone-pumped boastings, he knows NOTHING about the people around him. All he knows is how to get angry. Nothing pleases a man that is so full of himself. He'd sooner use curses and fists to get his way before even listening to reason. I hate it when my mother says to forgive him. It's like I'm wrong, why the fuck am I always wrong?! Am I ever right? I am never right. It's stupid, everyone here is stupid. I live in a stupid house, in a stupid life and given a second stupid chance to live.

I swear, I never want to come back here when I live. I cannot live here. I don't belong anywhere. As much as possible, I don't want to talk with anyone in here anymore. It's so pointless. "Kain na, Marty" "Bakit di mo na kami kinakausap, Marty?" Stupid. They don't know that I hate them. I keep quiet and all they want me to do is talk about it and then, THEN they slap me in the face all over again. Pointless, Stupid. I wish I wasn't here.

God, I'm sorry. I tried to be good but I can't exchange responsibility for freedom. It's too important. I hate being under the thumb of an insensitive parent. Everything is just pointless. Why am I the person everyone can step all over? I can't write anymore... my hands are too weak... my stomach is empty... my eyes are sore... I can't cry anymore... there's nothing left in my soul to muster a single tear. I have nothing. I am nothing.

I HATE LIVING

Riding the Lightning
4:55 PM

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