It feels wrong to be sad for some strange reason when you've been through something and come back to where you started. You just ended back to where you are before a whole mess of shit happens, back to reality, like waking from a dream.

Honestly, these past three days have been the most exhilirating days ever but more because Neil Gaiman came to the Philippines and that I went to every possible place to meet him and curtly... failed to do so. I didn't have the chance to get my book signed personally but thank god for Richmond who got my Endless Nights signed. I spent two days in lines only to leave disappointed. Yesterday, I went to his forum thanks to Ryan and readied myself as I took to the mic and waited for my turn to actually talk to him, only to realize that they were only going to take two more questions and woe to me, I was third. So close... but no cigar. My eyes started to weep as I saw my chance fleet away and even if I tried going up on stage to meet him, he had business to attend to and couldn't spare another second. That was it then. That was it.

I looked up to the man because he made everyone who grew up on comic books' dream come true. He made a world possible for us, he made my dream come true. People like him paved the way for the future of any aspiring kid to make it big one day making comics and not have them scrutinized for being out of their minds in a medium that equalled no better than pulp fiction. I didn't get that chance and I felt awful about it but really why did I.

I thought about some stuff while I was waiting for Ryan's car to bring me home. I would be lying if I said that I wish these past three days haven't happened because I loved every minute of it; waiting in line in hopes to meet the person who changed everything for a whole lot of people, it was like meeting a superstar and as you wait in line, you can only hope to catch some of their stardust on your fingertips. That then, I made a decision. I went and bought Brief Lives, a comic book written by him which I thought symbolized a great deal of what I was about to do.

I tore off the plastic cover and took my own pen and wrote myself a little note. It was short but the message meant a whole lot to me because for this time on, I wrote not anymore following the shadow of a man but wrote for myself, for me not to quit, for me never to give up because really... life is too brief to sulk and mope about missed opportunities. Sure, I didn't get to do what I wanted to do during three days even if I tried, but that doesn't mean it screwed up my entire life, I learned that a long time ago. There's always an option, always. For me, I guess it just says that maybe it was time I let go of heroes and idols as my guides in my life because it's my own life and I have to be my own hero one day after all... life's too brief.

Today is now tomorrow, the tomorrow from where yesterday seemed like a dream. I dreamed I was in line waiting for a hero to shake my hand and hoping to catch stardust. I dreamed that he would see something in the spark of a young boy aspiring to follow in his footsteps. But these are dreams, and like he wrote in one of his books, dreams lie alot. I don't know about you guys but I'm not sad at all. It feels wrong to be. I ended back where I started and my journey hasn't even begun. Why should I be sad? I'm just back to where I started and, I learned something new all the while. It seemed like a dream and maybe it was but dreams shape the world and in this case, it shaped mine.