Monday, August 01, 2005
The Canon and Tarp
There are many a times when things do not go our way and for these times, we often conclude that life is hard and start hating everything about it. Believe me, I know. I grew up pretty snotty and selfish, pampered in a way that things had to go my way. My parents gave me as much as I had wanted, from my dinosaur books to currently, my DSL connection and whenever I asked, they would say something like we didn't have these back in our days and that I should be grateful. I am grateful, too grateful, I have become dependent to having things go my way which is why I think life is getting harder as we grow up because we can't control things anymore.
Take my ELC test for example. I mean, I studied hard, really hard. When I got locked out of the house for three times, I took out my ELC book and studied. I spent my breaks studying and tried even the exercises in the book to prepare. Sadly, the test was a humiliating failure. Three questions in an hour and I think I flunked the whole thing. Things didn't go my way or the way I expected and yes, I was pissed off and I said, "Life sucks" when it didn't work for me but now I just realize that these are things I cannot control, that this was how the world works. We can't shape it, it's bigger than any of us. All we can really do is sit around for the ride and pray to God that we remembered to put on the seatbelts.
I've seen things crumble to dust and even more, I see things get blown up but rest assured, something gets built in its place. Same thing with the bad stuff in our lives. Things do fall apart and some things do slip away but in time, I really think they come back. Life doesn't suck at all, it's... wishy-washy. When things go our way, we want to keep living until we are saturated with benevolent bliss and when things don't, we scourn and curse our misfortune often blaming others and ultimately, ourselves. Please, I've heard people say "Life Sucks" a lot already and the pattern's always there. Life sucks when you fail a test, Life's great when you ace it.
What I think is that we want control of our lives more than anything else. We want to see where we are going, to avoid crashes and potholes. Think about it. We drive our own little cars, encased in our own little shells and hum quietly as we drive around, hands on the steering wheel. It's something I observed from a lot of people and really, this way of thinking intrigues me.
While I was walking away from the ELC test, Lynn and Carlos walked with me to discuss the tragic aftermath and I said this to them as we discussed ways to pass the subject, "Okay, I think to pass, it's going to be like shooting a canon towards a stretched tarp. You have to hope that you got enough umph to breakthrough the tarp." basically, the canon's your effort and the tarp's yopur obstacle in achieving your goal. I just think everyone goes through shit, it just depends on whether you have enough umph to get out of the shit or wallow in it.
Just something I'd like to share. Hope you think about it
Riding the Lightning
10:38 PM
