Friday, September 23, 2005
!@#$%^&*(()
It hurts so much that it makes you feel you want to hide under a rock and die.
Right now, I feel so angry. I am angry that I hurt, I am angry that I feel myself get hurt. After setting up so many defenses, one little mistake makes you slip and you find yourself waiting out in the rain. Goddamit all. I so want to talk to someone right now but who is there? Once again, no one. Fuck it. I don't give a crap about people trying to help me out or listen to me anymore, they can do it in their own free time, I never seem to find them when I need them. It always ends up me being by myself.
I hate it when I am under the burden of emotions. I hate it when I get shouted at because I do not want my emotions to be seen. It angers me to think that I am under someone's microscope and they think they can keep me smiling by saying sweet somethings to make me feel better. That doesn't work mind you, I lost faith in people a long time ago and it's gonna take a heck of a lot more than "If you need a shoulder to cry on, I'll be here" to make it all go away. It's stupid, why do most people think that crying makes it better? Crying is admitting that you can't handle the burden of something but it never makes it go away. Crying gets you nowhere. That saying is bullshit. I don't need it in my dictionary, save it I don't want to hear any of it because I don't care. I remember what Lynn said this morning that we as humans were born to be sad. Couldn't agree more.
Just so angry... sorry, I've rambled enough.
Riding the Lightning
11:42 PM
