Friday, September 16, 2005
My Glass House Complex
Sometimes, I find myself laughing for no apparent reason.
Right now, the heavy metal funk of Gamma Ray is oozing into my ears and I can't help but sit back and fiddled my fingers on air guitar strings and haplessly sing-a-long to the funk, yeah! Well... it has been a good week I reckon as I finally broke the 70 barrier in Math and got an 80 in Theo woohoo. Aside from that, I won in my Arnis sparring thing but my blockmates weren't there cuz most of them watched the Cheer Rally, oh well.
Should I talk about loneliness again? or depression? or suicides? or perhaps some other dark aspect of human nature I have yet to discern? I think I drove those themes into the ground already so maybe I'll talk about love, since pretty much everyone me is getting bitten by the bug (ew, bug *smack*) yes, the love bug.
From reading the Sandman, there are two kinds of love. The love sprung from mutual like and the love sprung from hate. Let me give my personal view on these two things for those who are confused about what they are. Apparently, as some would dub me, I am pretty good at figuring out human nature yet not really immerse myself in it. I think the phrase is, I live in a glass house and I shouldn't cast stones. In any case...
Love sprung from mutual like happens often around people. You like someone and you get a backbone to ask them out or for the not-so-sure type like moi, befriend the said, prospect. Now, there are those who hope that one day, their desired partner would open his/her eyes to the love offered to them, like every... other... soap I have seen. Sometimes, the friendship lasts too long and before you know it, you are labeled as a best friend which pretty much gets rid of many shred of hope you have of becoming an item because my friend, you have become the confidant, the guy/girl your prospect complains to about his/her love life WITH OTHER PEOPLE. That, my friend is the bottom of the barrel. But then, there are those lucky people who have things work out for them but I have yet to see one so I don't believe in it... yet. I don't get why girls (or boys for that matter) find it so weird if theire friends are falling in love with them haha, is it really that weird? C'mon, think, why would they be so close to you in the first place only to have you reject them in the long run. I think that's dumb, people get hurt more that way.
Love sprung from hate this time, is kinda different cuz I find it so entertaining. Given two people, they bitch about each other all day long while in fact, they really like each other. It comes to a point where someone's "bad habits" tend to grow on you after prolonged exposure and after that, you're pretty much hooked on the guy/girl but of course, people around you will say, "what you like him/her now? after all those times you said blah blah blah" so you don't wana go back on your stand about the disgusting creature so you continue the fascade of teasing, insults and bitchings. I happen to know people like these and it's funny. So reader, take note, your greatest prick might like you.
On a whole other standpoint is the pov of those who seek love. Everyone (save a few) wants it and often they are selfish about it which is why it is so hard to let go of some things. Tch, that's just plain wrong. Personally, I find falling in love really exhilirating because I get this rush of emotions that makes me feel like I've been eating cookies and cream ice cream (don't ask) and I can't help but sometimes get so addicted to the feeling that I become a glutton and hog it all to myself, never really giving who I am in love with a second thought. YOU GET ME? I figured it out! There is a difference in falling in love with a person and falling in love with the feeling of falling in love. One is selfish, one is true. Some people fail to realize this until it's out of their hands and they sit alone in their room in the dark moping about breakups, broken hearts or goodbyes that didn't even count.Well... the Gamma Ray funk ran out on me so I'm outta ideas haha. I do hope I find true love one day and maybe for that time, I will cease to live in a glass house but for now, I wait and hope, and finally sleep to dream about her, who occupies my thoughts and heart whenever I look out over the starlit night.
Dream on, brother
Riding the Lightning
12:05 AM
