Been a while eh?

I can't say anything new happened during the week, it's your typical shit on a typical day. I hung out with Myles during Friday and was cozying into our clan in RF. It's fun because then, I'd be with James and Myles in a game haha. I played dota also on friday for one guy but I went toe to toe with the Korean fury of Dota God Vin and pulled an upset 30 minute victory! A great Dota ender for the week if I might say so myself.

In other news, my blockmates and I have begun filming our Noli Me Tangere video. We wanted to do it early before things pile up by next week. My god, no one really knew how to act. Price to pay for being an engineer I say. It's fantastic the way you think everything is going well but it doesn't. Like, I prayed that my math midterms and ELC test won't stack on the same day and later on, I realize that they were both moved but on the same day. Wow, sucks.

It has also been a trying week emotionally for some friends of mine. A dilemma was thrown into my face when someone told me how I should do my job as a friend which really upset me. So I sometimes wonder if what I'm doing is right which later on led to a conversation with Richmond. I don't usually talk to Mon unless it's something that's really eating me so this is one of those things. I can't disclose what exactly happened so this may come out as a rant but what the hell right? I'll tell you one thing though, I can't walk away.

Aside from my personal dilemma, other people have been having problems of their own. I sometimes wonder if it becomes worth it after the pain. After all, as Richmond said, the onset of growth is pain. I guess you have to be able to live through something to grow from it. Telling yourself everything's still okay or blaming others for your misfortune is just prolonging the inevitable, if not denying it... which makes it harder. You can really tell a person by how he/she deals with pain. Some will realize how really weak they are, some will realize how stubborn they can be, some will point fingers and some -a rare few- can try to make things better.

No matter what anyone says, people hate getting hurt. No matter how much they say they are used to it or have figured out everything about it, it is something we can never get used to. It brings out the worst in people. You see how weak or how vulnerable our lives are. Thinking the world revolves around your pain is a self-centered way of thinking, thinking everyone should give a damn about your problems is just asking for pity and yet we do that to make ourselves feel better. We exaggerate our problems to a point where we are so desperate to find answers or resolutions that we don't see the simplest solutions or the main cause of our pain. In our frustrations, our judgment gets clouded and sometimes we hurt the ones we care for.

What then right?

The thing I'm afraid of is to one day find myself to have lost everything before I even know and I always want to remind myself of that. Being the person who I was back then taught me very important lessons and yes I have undergone pain and frustrations but I had good friends to keep a straight head for me. Friends who made me open my eyes to who I am and eventually change me. I can only hope to be that kind of friend to everyone else... though I can't blame the people who think what I'm doing is "wrong". This means you, whom I make this concern to.

Let me just leave this short line from talking with Berk:

Marty: we are NOT a barkada
Berk: oo nga no
Marty: we're a group of friends revolving around 1 or two ppl at a time
Berk : hey maybe this is like, the next step to friendship
Berk : you know, maybe kada's are like training wheels
Marty : a barkada is a brotherhood, in bulk
Marty : a friendship is a brotherhood, in person
Berk : niiiice
Marty : amazingly cheesy hahahaha

Well, I guess that's it after this long drought. I'll push the unpause button of my life now.

P.S. God Bless and Rock On to John Isiderio who played in the SOSE show last friday. My best wishes to Stanley in his upcoming hell week. Loads of support I wish for Berkeley's Afgha 2 story. And finally, God Help My Soul for what I am doing.