Wednesday, February 15, 2006
150th: Sleepless
The 150th post ought to go something like this:
Alone in my dark room, I begin to write
I try to think of what to write that would suffice, scratching my head for ideas to arise.
I can't seem to write for the night and I find that hard to believe since after all I write much like how I breathe.
I find it necessary to put down every thought that I have, mainly for my own sake, for the attention or for when I'm sad.
Yeah I know, the poem kind of sucks but then I was never the good poet.Let me describe to you how I sleep at night. Usually by around 12am, I crawl into my bed and put the covers up to my head. Then, I sandwich my head between two pillows because I've always had this fear that the ceiling would fall and crush my head (yes I know, and the pillow will save me *rolls eyes*). While my head is between pillows, I stare at the light in front of me, a warm gentle orange glow on the night stand across me. I stare at the light until I feel my head spinning. I feel like the weight of the entire day rushed out of me, leaving me with this feeling of relief and comfort, all the while I still watch the light across me in a sort of hypnotic trance.
I find enough strength to put my hands together and close my eyes. I then whisper my prayers and hope to find myself answers. I pray for the people who have problems, who took the time to tell me. I pray for myself to get better, to be who I was meant to be. I pray for the forgiveness of my sins, a task I try everyday. I pray for those who have been forgotten, because I think they need someone to believe. Mostly I pray for the one who I dream about, I wish her the best of the world. I say my prayers humbly, talking myself to sleep.
I repeat my words over and over, hoping for someone to hear yet I find that there is no one there. I must have been dreaming I often say to myself. I am reminded of the stories people have told me about; about a Sandman that sits by, listening to your whispers and whose sand, he puts in your eyes, whisks you away to dreams. I dream of tomorrow mostly, about the days to come. Never about the past, which I tried hard to overcome.
My head keeps on spinning and I begin to relax then. I sleep, I dream... and for the while, I'm in heaven.
Riding the Lightning
11:58 PM
