Thursday, March 09, 2006
Just One of Those Days
I wish I could whisper everything I wanted you to know without the fear that you will walk away. Without the fear that you will run into darkness, never to be seen again. Do not leave me please because more than anything, anyone, I need you. Though I will never feel your touch again or hear your voice comfort me in the dark serene night, the memory that you have left will keep me warm through the coldness of my loneliness. I never knew hell could be so cold. If I could have told you when I was a bit more certain, things might be different or maybe if I chose to deny my heart, I wouldn't have had to feel the pain I now have. The place where you resided in my heart is now an empty void that nobody can seem to fill. You were my heart, you kept the blood in me flowing, you kept me warm. You kept me alive. So how did it feel, when you turned and walked away from me? Can you understand the abandon I felt? How the world seemed pointless without you... how it didn't matter because you weren't with me anymore?
I walk down my lonely road once again, the wind was cold as the last remaining leaves start to fall all around me, like the way I am learning to let go of the love you have shown me. I will never learn to let you go but I can try, I can only hope to because I know it will not stop hurting until I do so. Do you remember when we walked down this road and I told you, I'm so happy you're here? I repeat the words over and over now, still hanging on to a small hope that you were still beside me or that I will see you ahead of me, waving and smiling that smile of yours that meant the world to me. It shouldn't hurt like this. It hurts whenever a song plays. It hurts whenever I find myself with no one because it reminds me of how you never left me, how you would never leave. Words can only try to describe. No one to catch me when I fall, broken-hearted, afraid and alone, I only have that memory of you to keep me strong and even when I have let you go, to deny what happened between us is to deny the fact that I was once happy. It only hurts when your eyes are open
Lies get tossed and truth is spoken
It only hurts when that door gets open
Dreams are lost and hearts are broken
Riding the Lightning
6:43 AM
