Sunday, April 16, 2006
G A M E
I spend most of the day playing computer games at home, taking a break only to get a drink of water or get a bite to eat. I play my fighting games like Soul Calibur 3 and Guilty Gear XX until my fingers start to burn and the flesh starts to tear. That's how I got this callous on my thumb, I've played these games a lot.I can bring out the worst of me by playing my games. I let it take control. For the moment, I won't be me as I take controller in hand. I like playing fighting games because I go on a trance. I beat the crap out of my enemies, as I imagined them to be. I slice them and cut them. I feel no remorse as I see their life inch to nothing. I leap in the air or crouch fast on the ground; anything to get the hit, to see them draw blood, to see them hurt. I can't contain my glee as can be seen my anxious tapping. My leg begins to tap as I anticipate victory, the climax of the final blow. When it has ended and my character does its pose, I breath a sigh of relief and let the feeling go.
I love the feeling of crushing my adversaries into a bloody pulp. For a minute, I have completely let go of my restraints and took vengeful anger on a simulated character; anger that has built over many years. I keep playing this game until I find no more strength to play. My fingers would ache sometimes even bleed, but my hunger is never quenched. As I rest from hours of play and feel the pain starting to sink in, I start to think whether or not it was worth it all.
You know what, it is
Riding the Lightning
6:53 PM
