The Lonely Road

The name's Marty

age: 20
sign: Libra
hobbies: writing, reading, games

Quotes of my life:

1. I spent half my life betraying a friend or an ideal I believed in,
The other half is spent trying to find the strength to say "I'm sorry" -Nighthawk

2. Nothing should be able to do that, especially not love -Rose Walker

3. By the power of truth, I, while living, have conquered the universe -V

4. When you're on you're knees you're closer to the ground -Tori Amos

5. Why must the grieving be so short and this life so long? -Silver Surfer

6. You should never forget that people do care -Richmond

7. Love was never meant to be such a crazy affair, and who has time for tears? -Akira Yamaoka

8. Friend, at your service! -Berk

9. Happy is me cuz only u make urself miserable -Myles

10. Safe to say, everyone believes in your willpower -Glenn

11. On the road to redemption, just because we are told not to forget
doesn't mean we have to go through things alone -original

12. One true friend is better than a dozen liars -confessional

13. Just live life -James

14. I'd rather be the moon to shine your darkest night -Sophia

15. Life is a circumstance -original

16. Better to live in solitude than feel alone amongst a crowd -Faye

17. That's why ice cream stores don't only sell Chocolate and Vanilla,
Once in a while, someone comes in and orders Butter Pecan -Ralph Digby

18. And so, I'll follow you through the darkness of this world, no matter the pain,
Because I know that you'll be there to light my way -God Knows

19. Sometimes, people build walls around them to have people knock them down -???

20. Now, you listen to me, James Hawkins. You got the makings of greatness in you, but you got to take the helm and chart your own course. Stick to it, no matter the squalls! And when the time comes you get the chance to really test the cut of your sails, and show what you're made of! Well, I hope I'm there, catching some of the light coming off you that day. -John Silver

Still some more to be found...

Thursday, April 13, 2006
Nevermore

Whenever I think about each day of my life that I wake up to, it feels like I have no reason to. I feel sad for no reason. I feel heavy like I don't want to get up. And whenever I try to get back to sleep, I can't seem to. Though I want to write to calm myself, I can't find words to explain this feeling.

So many goddamn things happened since the start of the year that I just want to crawl under a rock and pray for tomorrow to come, only to find that the tomorrow I had hoped for cannot even begin to make me feel any better. Old skeletons were brought up one by one by those people who I trusted the most. I feel betrayed yet I no longer feel sadness... instead, I feel rage.

I have had enough of the bullshit people put me through. When I think about it, I feel like I'm being used; used because I allow myself to be used. Thinking about it, most people start up a conversation with me by asking me for a favor. It's either I'm a fucking dictionary, a tutorial or some game guide. It's selfish yes but I have come to terms with this for a long time now. W0uldn't you feel angry if people only saw you as an oasis? Nothing more than a resource only worth asking when necessary. Fuck it. I try very hard to make new friends but it seems I'm nothing more than a joke to these people.

As much as my friends say I should talk more often, I'm more or less ignored after a few minutes of hi's and hello's so why give a damn to these people. They don't care about me so why the hell should I care about them. It's already hard to let out my problems to people without having them ignore what I'm trying to say. I'm just so pissed off. Frustrated. Like who cares anyway.

I'm Marty and I want to sign off.

Riding the Lightning
7:22 PM

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