Monday, October 16, 2006
Spiderman Cries at the Grave
First, I'd like to thank those who have consoled me from my previous post. I really appreciate all of your sympathies for such an... unfortunate circumstance on my part. I'm very glad that you cared.
On to business then. The semester is now about to end and it comes to the time where I review what had happened over the sem. I am also nearing my 200th post now, signalling 2 years of keeping this blog alive. I'm so happy that I kept this little piece of cyberspace kicking. In a way, at least I'd have documented the "better" part of my life.
This sem had been particularly... interesting. It started with a god-awful schedule where I became good friends with others who shared my plight yet one after another, things started to get better as my classes were moved to a better time. I will never forget when I got my first 100 in my ELC. That's saying something since no one ever gets that high in any test of Sir Monje's. There were other highlights too: like my Blind Date with Apol, my immersion in San Mateo, watching Sophia's movie (which I enjoyed immensely), Bbal with BJ and Rio, Terriyaki Boy with Mark and Anjoy, Lunch dates with Lynn, Movie making with Gali and Berk, Comics with Chester and how can I forget, the myriad of conversations I spent with each person. If I described them all, I'd run out of time and probably bore you so let's just keep it short and say, it was one heck of a sem.
Aside from that... one other big thing that happened to me by the end of the sem was my confession. I think I haven't cried like that in months. This semester, aside from time spent with friends, seemed to be a relief to the hardships of regret and guilt that I've carried over the years. I've learned to trust people better now and I've remet some friends that I now know I can count on. Old Sinner, the title Martin gave me -- meant one who stands up proud though punished by the darkness. I've learned to accept my mistakes now that I have learned much about redemption and I quote, "On the road to redemption, just because we are told not to forget, doesn't mean we have to go through things alone." Berk helped me make that quote for my Synthesis paper in Theo and now, I decided to keep it as my own. My heart feels lighter somehow now that I have sought absolution and perhaps been granted it when I had my confessions.
I am sorry for a lot of things, actually and maybe it's too late to be forgiven by the person I did wrong to but it's been years now and I guess maybe it's time I have to forgive myself first. I've made a mistake to one person, I don't intend to repeat it to any other. And if it ever comes to the opportunity when I can somehow seek your forgiveness then... maybe I'll get back some of the things I've lost. Nes gave me some friendly advice: he told me I think too much and I have to let things go. True, I do tend to hold on to things for too long but I'm willing to let them go... one day at a time.
I'd love to move on to another topic but I'm a little too tired to think of something to wonder about. After all, I just updated my blog to make sure people think I'm okay. That's the word, think I am cuz I never am, just okay enough. So until then, I'll be seeing you.
Riding the Lightning
12:34 AM
