Whilst reading on Silent Hill, I found a very interesting insight about hospitals. It was that though hospitals were places for saving lives, it was more of a venue for death. Personally, stepping into a hospital creeps the hell out of me. I remember one time while sitting outside an office and they wheel in this guy in a stretcher and I mean, really serious wheeling in. Gave me serious chills.

Some people don't notice it too much. They reel people into the hospitals with the hopes of saving someone but then again, it doesn't really bother you that you just might have wheeled your loved one to their final resting place. I find the thought really unsettling. Imagine yourself lying in a bed or in a room where someone already died in. I think my dad had that premonition once.

I got this unsettling call from my mom when I called to check on my dad two years ago when he was hospitalized for liver problems. He told that my dad couldn't sleep that night cuz he had a "visitor" that night. He just described it to be all in black and came right up from the floor. That scared the hell out of him too so much so that it stopped him from drinking indefinitely (something I'm happy about). The point however is that, it was then that the idea of death creeping about hospital halls came to my mind as something real and not fiction. Sure, I've played Silent Hill games where the hospital was more of a place of death than life and I have read books saying the same thing but when it hit home, I guess that's when the fear really started creeping in.

I really hated visiting people in a hospital. They all look so weak and frail, like there was something malignant hanging above their heads and they hook you up to machines just to keep you alive. Have you ever gotten sick days where your mind wanders and it eventually gets to the point where you start thinking, "God, I'm going to die"? Perhaps feeling sick and weak does that to some people and basically in a hospital, you have a place full of sick people who just might be thinking that... more often than not, their wish gets granted.

I think it's like that time we went to visit my grandfather's grave this All-Soul's day. It was this huge tomb thingy my father's side of the family kept for a long time where I found out something gruesome. My dad kept telling me that it was okay to fold these papers at one side of the tomb but not the other one. He said that because my grandfather was at one side of the tomb and naturally, oh-so-inquisitive me asks what the other side was for and he said, it was for my grandmother... went her time came. I almost jumped when I heard. I was there, folding papers, at the place where my grandmother supposedly would be laid to rest. Right then, I just wanted to get out and start running. It was right there, staring at me. Some time in the future, someone deceased will be right there where I was and how can I bear that thought in my head...

I don't know what death really is. It can be a person, a feeling, a condition, a state or something you can hold in the palm of your hands but then again, thinking about it, maybe it can be a place. I find it somehow unsettling that death can be a place where you're destined to end up in -- in a hospital, in a home or even the grave...

Scary thought